"I Can't Move" by Everlast got me thinking. Is it fear of failure that keep those who do not move forward settled right where they are? Is it laziness? Is it pride? For me it a combination of pride and fear that keeps me in my comfort zone. Why pursue something you may fail at when what you are doing right now works just fine? ::: sigh::: Well, that kind of thinking has lead me right to where I am right now. A high school drop out stay at home mom. Blah... I've been earning my HS credits slowly but surely but damn, I am more than this. Only if life had a "reset" button.
Everyone has been pressuring me into joining ADAF but ugh... I am going to have difficulties being away from Samantha for BMT and tech school. I also have authority issues. Heh... I would have to find an entirely different type of tolerance within myself. I don't know if I want to deal with the military BS, more than I already do, on daily basis. IF I do in, I'd li8ke to find a sign on bonus and I like to be a nurse or PT therapist. Maybe it's best that I a BA under my belt before joining? I just dunno. I do fear failure when so much is at stake. As far as education, only money is on the line with that. If I join, wow... my marriage would be at stake IMO. He'll either find he can cope without me or I learned I can cope even better than I thought without him. That or we just become closer.
I'm just ready to find my path and to be proud of that journey down it.
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