12.21.2009

More recent revelation

Have you ever wanted something so badly that when you actually get it, you freeze up and go "Oh shit. What do I do now?" I just couldn't dive in head first and divulge what I actually wanted or how I truly felt. Something in me froze. I was/am afraid. I seriously could have handle the situation better. I could have for once been a normal person instead of the mangled, messed up, lump of issues. So... ideal situation was diffused all because I, and I know better, froze the fuck up. I'm not good at new things. New, scary, and intense things at that.

I feel bad for passing this situation over casually because it wasn't.

So, why am I afraid of what I want?

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